


When A God Steals Your Body

by orphan_account



Category: Durarara!!, dead mount death play
Genre: Death, Demons, Gen, Gods, M/M, Possession, What Have I Done, but not really, convenient situations for the sake of plot, go read dead mount death play, nekozaya, technical character death, this is based off it, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-05
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-08-10 05:17:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20129974
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Based off the beginning of Dead Mount Death Play; the corpse god inhabits the just killed body of izaya. putting izayas still living soul into another body.go read the manga, but you don’t really need to for this to make sense.





	When A God Steals Your Body

**Author's Note:**

> this is totally all fun and games. it likely won’t even turn out that great but just take it for a fun read lol

Izaya’s been stabbed. About ten times. The eleventh stab is falling towards his prime body, almost in slow motion. 

He’s usually amused by such actions humans will act upon him. It usually delights him. 

This time, he’s pissed. Furious. And he can’t do anything about it. 

He doesn’t even recognize the person killing him, and Izaya remembers all humans he meets. 

He’s pissed, because he didn’t _do_ anything to this person. 

He’s fallen victim to some crazed killer. 

THE Izaya Orihara, is dying in such a stupid manner. 

Not even at the hands of Shizu-chan. Just a random nobody. 

The eleventh stab lands, severing his trachea, and Izaya blacks out, choking. 

The Corpse God, banished from their own world of magic, uses their ultimate spell to save their household, and their own life. 

They don’t really know what this spell does, just that their master told them it was a last resort. 

They wake up to a dark alleyway, unfamiliar buildings surrounding them. Building not like the ones from The Corpse God’s world. 

_What body is this? This isn’t mine_, They think to themselves. They notice they are covered in blood as well. This can wait. 

Because there is another person nearby. Screaming, in a language the god doesn’t recognize. 

“Wha-ah.” They struggle to speak, likely a result of the wound to the throat. 

They stand, and the other person souls their pants, mumbling in that language, that slowly begins to filter through their mind. 

_I must be gleaning this worlds’ language and information from this body_.

The other person has lost consciousness. The god decides to move on, and search for a safer place. 

As well as moving the original owner of this body. Can’t have too many souls in one body; it’ll burn up. Literally.

When Izaya comes to, he expects to see Shinra’s ceiling, or maybe a hospital’s. 

He doesn’t expect to see his own face staring back at him. 

Especially at such a large scale. 

He stumbles back in shock. He may live in Ikebukuro, but even a giant body double is too much. 

“I am sorry... Izaya?” Not-Izaya says, sounding genuinely regretful with an expression so honest, even izaya doesn’t think he could pull it off. 

“I didn’t have anything else to store you in that still gave you freedom of mobility. Please forgive me.”

What...?

“But I need to borrow your real body for a little while. I promise I will return it to you.” Not-Izaya gives a sad, kind smile. 

His body? Come to think of it why is he so small...?

No. Please... there’s just no way. 

Izaya looks down at himself, and is greeting with little paws and fur. He feels ears twitching around on his head. He feels an extra limb that he really shouldn’t have. 

“YOU TURNED ME INTO A FUCKING CAT?!” Izaya yells. 

Well he tries to yell, but all that comes out is a hiss and loud yowl. This really cannot be happening. 

Not-Izaya seems to understand well enough though, because they throw Izaya’s hands up in a calming gesture. 

“Please don’t misunderstand! I had to place your consciousness into another body. I couldn’t use another human for that. I can tell you’re the type of person who needs independence, so I gave you a body you could move around in!”

Izaya is seriously pissed. Fur standing on edge and everything. First, he’s stabbed by a random human (who he decides he does _not_ love) and now he’s an actual cat?

Only in Ikebukuro.

Not-Izaya keeps talking, making excuses, but Izaya’s stopped listening. He has to find some way out of this without humiliating himself further. At least there’s nobody around to see this.

“...Shinra’s.” Not-Izaya’s voice filters in, cutting through Izaya’s thoughts. He goes to grab the cat, and Izaya immediately whips his claws out, swiping at his own hands.

They manage to trap him, picking him up and holding close to their chest. 

God dammit.

The body, Izaya Orihara, is quite agile and athletic. They suppose they could have done worse, body-wise.

They’ve arrived at the apartment of Shinra Kishitani. He seems to be Izaya’s only confidant. 

Izaya is tense in their arms, ready to bolt at any moment.

The door swings open with a cry of “Celty! You’re ho- oh. It’s just you.”

“Hello, Shinra Kishitani. May I come inside?”

If a cat can roll it’s eyes, that’s definitely what Izaya just did.

The bespectacled man gives a half laugh and a strange once-over, as he holds the door open wider for the pair.

“Why so formal? Also why are you holding a cat? Also why are you covered in blood? And, hang on, is your throat cut?!” Shinra fires off these questions in rapid order, not waiting for a response as he runs off to another room, resurfacing with a doctors’ bag.

“Honestly, Izaya what have you gotten yourself into?”

“I’m not Izaya.”

Shinra pauses in his examining of their throat, (aside from a _lot_ of dried blood, there’s only a scar?) blinking at them. “Huh...?,” is the articulate response he comes up with.

“This is Izaya,” they hold up the cat, who bites them. “I assumed he’d want to stay with a friend while he was like this.”

Shinra is baffled. Honestly, if it weren’t for the fact that beings like Celty and Saika existed, he wouldn’t believe Izaya for a second.

That being said, this Izaya-impostor is far too polite and earnest. Real-Izaya could never pull that off.

“Alright... If you’re not Izaya, then who are you?”

Izaya the cat starts squirming. Shinra pats his head to calm him down. Shinra gets bitten. Hard.

“Ow!” Yep, definitely Izaya.

Wrangling the cat, “Well, in my homeland they called me ‘The Corpse God’.”

Shinra blinks.

They continue “I suppose you can call me... Rinya.” They give a smile.

“Alright, then Rinya it is.” Shinra smiles back, though his is more crazed. He can’t wait to dissect Rinya.

A hiss comes from Izaya. Rinya blinks “He says you’re going to dissect me?”

Shinra jerks back. “Ah! You can understand him I see. N-no! Of course I would never!”

Rinya looks thoughtful for a moment. “I mean, I don’t mind, necessarily. If it doesn’t take too long. I have things to take care of.”

Shinra glows. “Oh great! Hear that, Nekozaya?”

In hindsight, he probably shouldn’t have said that.

Izaya springs up, launching at Shinra’s face. He bites Shinra’s nose and claws down his face. _Nekozaya? Are you fucking kidding me?_

”Ahh! Okay, okay! I won’t say it again!” And Izaya is lifted away.

Shinra peaks through his fingers, and sees Rinya holding Izaya by his scruff. Heh.

“Izaya, please don’t do that to people. I must be going, perhaps we can dissect another time.” And with that Rinya deposits Izaya onto the couch and heads out the door. 

Izaya has been hiding under the couch ever since Rinya left. He hisses and swipes at Shinra every time he tries to coax him out.

This is the worst. Hopefully Shizu-chan doesn’t run into Rinya. Who knows what’ll happen there.

Someone knocks on the door, and as Shinra lets his guest in, Izaya hears a familiar voice.

Oh god dammit.

“Yo, Shinra. The fuck is up with that bastard flea? What game is he playing now?”

A beat of silence, and then “I don’t know what you mean, Shizuo.”

Shinra really can’t lie for shit.

“Hah? Don’t lie, you know something. Smells like shit. Why the fuck is your face all scratched?”

“Umm, look, I know somethings up, but if you could ignore it this time, Shizuo?” 

“HAH? You want me to ignore that bastard when he’s causing trouble in MY city?!”

“Ah, please wait a second Shizuo! It’s not what you think!”

“Then fucking tell me.” _No, Please don’t Shinra._ “I know he was here, smells like shit.”

A long pause, then Shinra sighs. “Sorry, Izaya.”

“Why the fuck are you apologizing, I just saw him he can’t be here now?!”

Shizuo is pissed. First, that flea thought he could sneak by him, just because he wasn’t wearing his shitty jacket. Then he says he has things to do, like Shizuo is the nuisance! And now, that shitty jacket is here, stinking up Shinra’s apartment, and SHinra is being shifty.

“Um, well... That... wasn’t Izaya you saw.”

“Do you think I’m fucking stupid.” Shizuo is getting really mad now. He wants answers.

“Ah, Izaya, could you come out?”

Shizuo’s eye twitches, the fucking flea is here?!

A hiss comes from the couch, behind Shizuo.

“Oh come on! Don’t be like that! You wouldn’t want Shizuo beating up on Rinya, would you?”

Another hiss.

“Shinra. What. The fuck. Is. Going. On.” Shizuo’s patience is at its limit.

Shinra squeaks a little. “Just- you- Celty is real, yes? So just trust a little on this? That wasn’t Izaya you saw. Izaya is... under the couch.”

Shizuo blinks. He knew Shinra was insane, but this? He humors the false doctor, and crouches. He lifts the skirt of the couch covering.

Lifting his glasses, he tilts his head down and peers into the slim space between the couch and floor.

An inhuman growl emits from the shadow, gaining volume as Shizuo squints to look closer.

“It’s too damn dark,” he mumbles to himself.

He pulls his phone out, and turns the flashlight function on. The bright light exposes two glowing eyes, and the small body of a cat. The kitty flinches away from the light, swatting towards Shizuo. It’s growl nonstop, and gaining volume.

Shizuo reaches in, and grabs the cat, pulling him out. He outright ignores the scratching and biting.

“Why is the furball so mad?”

“Because you’re touching him, Shizuo. I just told you; that’s Izaya, not just a cat.”

The kitty goes for a swipe across Shizuo’s face, but he easily dodged. “And I’m supposed to just believe that?” 

“Yes!” And Shinra tells him an abbreviated version of Rinya’s arrival at Shinra’s apartment.

Shizuo looks at the angry kitty again. He tired himself out, and is panting, still giving Shizuo the nastiest look that he’s ever seen from an animal.

Shizuo bursts out into a full body laughter, dropping Izaya the cat. He laughs so hard he falls onto the couch, still laughing. Izaya slinks over behind Shinra.

Shizuo finally calms down enough to wipe his eyes and speak. “Oh wow, I haven’t laughed like that in a long fucking time! Damn, flea! I guess you fucked up huh?”

Izaya’s ears flatten back as Shizuo chuckles at his demise. 

Izaya really hates Shizuo. He also hates when he’s made fun of. He wants to gouge that monster’s eyes out.

“So you’re saying some demon possessed Izaya, and now Izaya is stuck in a cat? HA, that’s the funniest shit I’ve heard in a while!”

<strike>(Izaya wishes Shizuo wasn’t so attractive, especially since he’s laughing at him).</strike> (Wait, no. statement redacted).

Seeing that Shizuo is out of his murder-mode, Shinra turns to his medical bag and pulls out a few items to clean up his face. He puts Izaya on the island countertop (Izaya growled; he doesn’t appreciate being manhandled).

“There’s some milk in the fridge if you’d like some, Shizuo. You know where the cups are.”

Chuckling, Shizuo gets up and heads for the milk. “Should I also put some on a saucer for Izaya-kun?”

_ Oh he thinks he’s sooo funny, doesn’t he?_

Izaya was going to avoid the beast, but instead he darts forward, and casually knocks Shizuo’s glass of milk onto the floor, like any self-respecting cat would.

“Izaya! Come on!”

“Flea...[unintelligible growl].”

Izaya sniffs, and goes back to his corner of the counter.

“Hey, come on, please don’t get each other worked up? At least not in my apartment! I don’t wanna get charged for animal abuse- OW!”

That earned Shinra a nice bite to the hand. 

**Author's Note:**

> did you know izaya was almost named rinya?   
How many cat jokes can shizuo make in order to piss nekozaya off?  
Why did i write this?  
please don’t take this seriously. also it’ll probably be three chapters, max.


End file.
